I'm almost there, and thus, I'm almost back. I'm not predicting, I'm retrospect-ing.

I'm going to be almost be in a train in almost 24 hours and I'm almost going to be in Calcutta. Ergo I am already in Calcutta, and what is to happen has already happened. In an alternate universe, there is already a Facebook Photo Album and a gazillion comments.

And you thought Schrodinger (and his kittycat)was deep.
I can't wait, I can't wait, I can't wait. I've already planned my outfits (surprisingly, they DO fit in a reasonable amount of luggage, although my mum isn't letting me bring the blowdryer, so I'll be sticking with the oh-my-hair-is-an-artistic-mess-on-purpose look, if you must know.) I've picked out shoes and I know what I'm doing with my small-talk. I'MREADYI'MREADYI'MREADY (Spongebob style.)
When I meet Anushka, I shall be the epitome of cool. No dribbling, no stray spittle. I'll be like, Ohyeah, hey, yeah, I haven't seen you around in a while. I will not go omigoshomigoshomigosh and smother her to death.
When I see Bhaskar for the first time, I will be calm and composed and not bear-hug and simultaneously act like Father of the Bride. I will not hop.
When I see Shalmi, I will most certainly not pretend to be a dog and I will not bite her on her un-injured arm. Instead, I will ask after her health like a human being does, and then we shall indulge in light banter after making vague promises to meet again, oh we just MUST, like, totally, next time you're in town, okay? No, you should come to - No, you should - ohblargh.
When I meet Spriha, we shall. Maintain decorum.



House was right.
Everybody lies.
I just did.
Switch the verbs. That's my itinerary.
Oh! Calcutta.